Who do I see when I look in the mirror? Is it the me I see in my mind I desire to be, or is it the me I'm still trying to leave behind? It's easy to look the other way, harder to look straight ahead and push toward the person I wish to be. It's a process being ourselves, it takes work and laziness is the toughest drug.

The path of the Buddha is not one of worship, but rather a process in finding the best self. The term Buddha literally means, "one who is awake," and it’s a waking up to the person you are meant to be. It's not outside of yourself, but a coming to terms inside with the work you need to do to get there.

This painting was a meditation on who I wanted to be, the canvas was a mirror, my reflection in the oil. Working the piece this way and that trying to find myself, finding the best me. Not a perfect fantasy, but the real me. It was one of the most difficult paintings I've had the pleasure of working through.

Does this battle with ourselves ever end? When do we find happiness with our reflection? A key lays in the letting go of who we want to be and open to who we need to be. For ourselves, our family, our community, and take that place in our world. Attachment and expectation leads to suffering, letting go into what is, that state of being, is the release.

Finding yourself takes time and work. You can't rush it, push it, force it. You have to breath into yourself, one moment after the other, slowly. Approach it as one would a painting, what part need the most work, and focus on that for the day. One brush stroke after the other working it and by sunset the worst will be the best, and the next day, repeat.